Too many of us learned about sex from media, from R-rated movies to hardcore porn. This means we often have a false expectation of what it’s like to fuck and be fucked.
Insta-orgasms that happen simultaneously. Someone is usually faking it.
Easily and quickly ripping each other’s clothes off. Sure until your pants get stuck at your ankles.
The biggest lie of all - the ease of falling into bed, finding the perfect position, and never feeling pain or getting a random cramp.
When that last one doesn’t work out, many of us think we’re the problem. We must be doing sex wrong.
Uh, no. You might just need a little help. Sex position helpers to the rescue!
Does this mean anyone who falls into these categories shouldn’t be allowed to have pleasurable and satisfying sex? Hell no!
Who Needs Help with Sex?
How do you know you could benefit from position help?
Ever had aching knees while riding your partner during penetration? Find it difficult to hold even “basic” positions like missionary because of back or leg pain? Get cramps from holding your legs at an awkward angle for more than a few seconds?
Maybe you can’t even do some of these “basic” sex moves at all.
You’re not alone. It’s part of the awkward beauty of sex sometimes. Bodies don’t cooperate and will absolutely disrupt mid-orgasm.
Now consider that one in four Americans have a disability with 13.7 percent of Americans living with a mobility disability while 20 percent experience chronic pain. Beyond that, many people have larger bodies or simply aren’t limber and flexible for plenty of reasons. That’s a lot of people struggling during sex.
Desperate to ride your partner like they’re a bucking bronco but your knees scream for mercy before your partner does?
Does this mean anyone who falls into these categories shouldn’t be allowed to have pleasurable and satisfying sex? Hell no!
It’s time to normalize the use of position helpers: pleasure products and tools that make sex more comfortable for everyone.
Now you’re probably wondering: What are my options?
More Support with sex position aids.
Imagine these not-so-sexy scenarios:
Your partner is thrusting at just the right pace and with the perfect level of force. But your clit might as well have orange cones around it to make sure no one hits it. The angles are off and so is the vibe.
You’re ready to get eaten out like you’re the all-you-can-eat buffet at a four-star hotel and a hungry tour group has just pulled up for dinner. But your partner struggles to stay in position long enough to get you off. You’re too low for them.
The best position for you is missionary, as the bottom, but your lower back burns with the fire of your unsatisfied desires. You either have to suffer through pain to get laid or end the fun early to preserve your body. And other positions, like doggy, feel impossible.
Do you know what might help in any of these situations? Getting support from a pillow or wedge.
Image courtesy of Dame
For soft, squishy support, grab a pillow or two or three from your bed or try a ergonomically designed positioning pillow. You’ll be raised a little higher and get help repositioning your body.
For a firmer support, go with a wedge. With a wedge, you don’t have to hold your body in place at all. It holds your weight while you lay on it. Even better, you have more sex positions available to you with a wedge, like doggy style.
One potential downside is that wedges can be too firm, making them uncomfortable. Inflatable wedges can be the best of both worlds and allow you to adjust the firmness level.
Comfortable Sex Positions with Straps and Slings
Maybe it’s not that you need support in certain sex positions but that you can’t get into them at all. That’s where sex straps and slings can come in handy. They help hold or manipulate your partner so your muscles don't have to.
Support Your Weight and Help Your Knees with Sex Chairs and Stools
Want to sit on your partner’s face but can’t maintain the position for very long? Desperate to ride your partner like they’re a bucking bronco but your knees scream for mercy before your partner does?
Sex chairs and stools are a perfect solution. They allow you to sit and take the weight off your joints. Your partner exist underneath the stool to give or receive maximum pleasure.
Images courtesy of eXtreme Restraints
Stools like the Queening Chair are extremely popular for queening kink fun but can be useful for people who are pregnant, have been injured, or simply deal with chronic issues that prevent lying down or putting weight on your joints.
They reduce the pressure on your body from stress and expectations
Sex Swings: For the Athletic and Adventurous
Swings are free-standing sex furniture. Some hook over the door, others mount into the ceiling, and still others are on stands. One partner sits or lies in it so that they’re comfortable. The other partner gets into position.
Consider these less an aide for physical disability and more an advanced pleasure product to put your bodies and imaginations to the ultimate test. Body parts become more easily accessible for all kinds of sex, especially oral. Even better, you may be able to try positions you would never be able to otherwise.
In Conclusion: Position Helpers Make Sex Better
Tools and toys can definitely help anyone with chronic conditions have better, more comfortable sex. They offer support and aid that makes sexual pleasure and orgasms more accessible.
But even if you don’t have bad knees or a disability, sex position helpers can make sex more fun and exciting, too. They reduce the pressure on your body from stress and expectations of how long you hold positions or what sex positions “should” happen in.
We all deserve better, more pleasurable sex and these position helpers can provide that for anyone.
About Kayla Lords:
I am a freelance sex writer, podcaster, YouTuber, and kink educator. I love talking about sex and sex toys and focus primarily on kinky topics. I’m also a kinky woman in a BDSM relationship who enjoys oversharing on the internet.