If you’ve ever struggled to get a complicated harness buckled up before a strap-on sex session, then you know that the securing mechanism for the dildo is typically the trickiest part of the whole shebang, especially for beginners. There are ways around this problem – you can store the harness with all but one buckle pre-fastened, for example, so all you have to do when you want to use it is step into it and do up the remaining buckle – but for those who just find harnesses too frustrating to deal with, one option to consider is strapless strap-ons.
. . . . a strapless strap-on can be more pleasurable for the wearer than a standard strap-on, and can promote greater intimacy between partners.
Invented in the early oughts, this creative innovation combines the intimacy of using a double-ended dildo with the thrustability of a traditional strap-on. Both ends of a strapless strap-on are meant for penetration, but one end tends to be longer and more phallic-looking, while the other end is a wider, shorter “bulb” that the wearer of the strap-on inserts vaginally to keep the toy anchored in its proper place.
This allows for the wearer to have their G-spot stimulated on every thrust while they penetrate a partner vaginally or anally with the phallic end of the toy. Many strapless strap-ons also have a textured portion that the wearer can rub their clitoris against and/or a vibrating function to provide extra sensation for both people. Due to these fun features, a strapless strap-on can be more pleasurable for the wearer than a standard strap-on, and can promote greater intimacy between partners.
Images courtesy of eXtreme Restraints
However, one key issue with strapless strap-ons is that the wearer has to have strong pelvic muscles to successfully hold the bulb in place, especially as their vaginal lubrication increases and their thrusts get faster. Doing Kegel exercises and using Kegel-oriented products can help with this, of course, but slippage remains a risk regardless of your muscle strength – and few things interrupt an intimate moment more jarringly than your toy suddenly falling out!
Images courtesy of eXtreme Restraints
To mitigate this problem, here are some adaptations you could make so that your favorite strapless strap-on will stay where you need it to:
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Use it with a harness
Don’t worry – you don’t have to get a complicated, strappy one if you don’t want to! But sometimes a good harness is all you need to help keep this type of toy where it’s meant to be.
For this purpose, look for a briefs-style harness or a single-strap harness (the kind where one strap goes between your legs). The added stability will allow for firmer, faster, more precise thrusts.
Images courtesy of Fun Factory & SportsSheets
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Use it with underwear
A snugly fitted pair of underwear can give your strapless strap-on the support it needs to stay in place. Just tug the gusset to one side so the dildo sticks out and you’re good to go. If you have a pair of briefs with a fly, that’s even better.
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Use it with pantyhose
Lots of people fetishize pantyhose and tights, but you don’t have to enjoy them in a fetishistic way to incorporate them into strap-on sex! If you tug your hose down in the front, just enough that the dildo can hang out of them, the rest should keep your strapless strap-on anchored in place well enough for sex. You could also poke or cut a hole in the hose for the dildo to stick out of; it’s best to do this with more rigid “control-top” tights, so that they hold their shape even when cut.
Have you ever used a strapless strap-on? What advice would you have for newbies?
Kate Sloan is a sex journalist and the author of two books, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do and 200 Words to Help You Talk About Sexuality & Gender. She also writes a sex blog called Girly Juice and cohosts the podcasts The Dildorks and Question Box. You can keep up with her work on Twitter at @Girly_Juice.